{"description":"You've Googled \"what attachment style am I\" at 1 am.\n \nYou're not alone. And you're not broken.\n \nAttachment theory explains why some of us do really odd things to the people we love most: cling when scared, disappear when things get real, or do a chaotic mix of both.\n \nBut here's the truth: your attachment style isn't a life sentence. It's a pattern. And patterns can be updated.\n \nIn this episode, Katie breaks down attachment theory\u2014from John Bowlby's groundbreaking research to modern neuroscience\u2014and reveals why your early relationship with your caregiver shaped your nervous system's expectations for all future relationships.\n \nWhat You'll Learn:\n\u2713 What attachment theory actually is (and why it matters more than you think)\n\u2713 Why humans are biologically wired to form emotional bonds (it's not neediness\u2014it's survival)\n\u2713 John Bowlby's revolutionary theory: attachment is innate, not learned\n\u2713 Mary Ainsworth's \"Strange Situation Procedure\" and what it revealed about infant attachment\n\u2713 Schaffer & Emerson's four stages of attachment development\n\u2713 The four attachment styles explained (like a human, not a textbook):\nSecure attachment: \"I can do closeness without losing myself\"\nAnxious/ambivalent: \"I need you\u2026 but I don't trust you\"\nAvoidant: \"I'll handle it myself (because needing people isn't safe)\"\nDisorganised: \"You're my comfort and my fear\"\n\u2713 What each attachment style looks like in adult relationships\n\u2713 Katie's personal story: Moving from avoidant attachment to secure attachment over 25 years with her partner Matt\n\u2713 The neuroscience of bonding: oxytocin, dopamine, and how your brain's expectations form\n\u2713 Why brain imaging shows mothers respond differently to infant crying based on attachment style\n\u2713 The most common relationship trap (and it's not what you think)\n\u2713 Why you donn't respond to what's happening\u2014you respond to what your nervous system predicts will happen\n\u2713 The \"get a rise\" strategy: emotional self-sabotage in relationships\n\u2713 Why your past isn't an excuse and it's not a prison\n\u2713 A practical attachment style quiz to identify your default pattern under stress\n\u2713 How to change your attachment pattern (it's not about thinking harder\u2014it's about changing what your body expects)\n \nKatie's Bold Claims:\n \n\"Your attachment style isn't who you are. It's what your system does under stress, based on what it learned was safest.\"\n \n\"The vast majority of people don't want a relationship. They want a partner who makes zero mistakes while giving them a lifetime pass to be a dick when they're stressed.\"\n \n\"Your past does not define your future. Only you do.\"\n \nWho This Is For:\nAnyone who's ever wondered \"what's my attachment style?\"\nPeople in relationships struggling with communication or emotional patterns\nThose with anxious, avoidant, or disorganised attachment patterns\nPeople interested in the neuroscience of bonding and relationships\nAnyone with childhood trauma affecting their adult relationships\nThose ready to change their attachment patterns (not just label them)\nCouples wanting to understand each other's nervous system responses\nPeople curious about why they keep repeating the same relationship patterns\nResources Mentioned:\nHappiness Hacks Lab: https://www.happinesshackslab.com/\nFree Happiness Archetype Test: https://www.happinesshackslab.com/happiness-test\nSomatic visualisation tools for releasing attachment patterns (in the Lab)\nKey Concepts:\nAttachment theory, attachment style, secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganised attachment, John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, nervous system regulation, oxytocin, dopamine, relationship patterns, childhood trauma, nervous system expectations, emotional regulation, bonding, parental attachment, relationship dynamics, neuroscience\n \nKeywords: attachment style, attachment theory, secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganised attachment, relationship patterns, nervous system, childhood trauma, oxytocin, dopamine, Bowlby, Ainsworth, relationship dynamics, nervous system regulation, trauma recovery, relationship communication, emotional regulation, bonding, parental attachment\n \nHashtags: #AttachmentStyle #AttachmentTheory #RelationshipPatterns #NervousSystem #TraumaRecovery #SecureAttachment #AnxiousAttachment #AvoidantAttachment #RelationshipDynamics #EmotionalRegulation #MentalHealth #Neuroscience #Bonding #RelationshipCommunication #PersonalGrowth","height":1920,"html":"
","provider_name":"Skiv","provider_url":"https://skiv.com","thumbnail_height":198,"thumbnail_url":"https://cdn.skiv.com/u/qAm4BnG/1da552a2c88e6ad173d49b3d08de6780073e2a39851d644967034fe955905cfd/thumbnails/thumbnail.jpg","thumbnail_width":352,"title":"What Attachment Style Am I? (No, You're Not 'Broken')","type":"video","url":"https://skiv.com/v/GxjrzwZ","version":"1.0","width":1080}